I was alright at animation, but I found the class to be... less than exciting. We spent a lot of time talking about animation and not enough time doing it. The lab instructors were... friendly, but very unprofessional. The night classes said they kept falling asleep during their labs, and for us in the day classes, they got very frustrated very quickly and one went as far as to start physically doing the work for me - which is completely against everything this school is supposed to be for. I eventually told her I got it and that I could take it from there, and it still took some talking to convince her to let go of my stylus and let me do my work. Critique is one thing. Physically taking over work I should be doing in order to learn is something else. If you must do a demo, undo the work you did and let me try it myself. I won't learn just by watching you.
I was unimpressed, overall. I found 2DA to be more of a learning experience than FOA. I was much more engaged by compositing. The instructors were very relaxed, very straight-forward, and very capable and would explain rather than seize control of your projects. The podcasts were thorough. And the material was generally much more fun and interesting. Even rotoscoping was fun, though I know in an actual production setting, it's a boring, frustrating pain. But I grasped it pretty quickly and Nuke was an amazing program to work with. It had the ease of Photoshop with the logic of Maya. I would display my work, but it's all copyrighted material from movies, so I can't. :( I will say, however, that the color lecture we got was probably one of the most amazing ones we had. Pedro Flores is, simply put, one of the best to teach it. It was hard to translate physical traditional color theory into digital color theory. I was very sad to learn they used to do speedpaintings in compositing... that would have been an amazing, educational addition. I sketched a lot in class as it was, but it would have been nice to get professional guidance. And it would have worked in tandem with color theory. Either way, soon after we did the color theory lecture, I ended up painting this:
Now I'm just waiting for grades for that month, and we've started Rigging Basics and Production Modeling. More below.
Rigging Basics is.... less terrifying than I thought it would be. I guess the combination of previous experience with Python and the fact that it scares so many people that they sort of slowly explain it makes it a little easier to swallow. Of course, I haven't actually handed in a project yet or gotten a grade, so... ask me again next month. But so far, we need to just develop the GUI for our own workflow window in Maya. I did some stuff with Python last year, but it was just text-based. Being able to see my work as buttons and sliders is a lot more gratifying and easier to grasp. And, of course, I already know the syntax and how things function, even if my memory's a bit fuzzy on ifs and whiles. I'm sure I'll feel worse about it when we actually start rigging stuff. Next month will be horrifying, I know that much - straight up rigging every day all day all month.
PRM is something I thought I would enjoy, but I've wound up more horrified than thrilled by it. I feel like I'm tossed back into my mental state in September (alone, terrified, and confused) and have the same knowledge I had in 3DF (IE, I know nothing). Except this time, I am putting in a lot more effort than I did in 3DF, and I still feel like I'm getting nowhere. I've got, what, 12, 13 months before I am done with the program. I still don't know which specialization I want to pursue (and they keep asking us WHO IS AN ANIMATOR? WHO'S A COMPOSITOR? WHO'S A MODELER? Well, I did well in all three of those... I don't know which would be better for me!), and while I know I've come far, I still don't feel like I'm worth hiring (oh, lord, I hope that comment doesn't bite me in the ass in 10, 12 months' time, lol). We move so quickly through things, and while I normally am not bothered by a fast pace, I don't know and don't have a chance to test if I've learned anything, truly.
In PRM, we are building a self-portrait bust in zbrush. Which shouldn't be that bad - we built a whole character model in Maya two, three months ago; even with a new program, we can already adeptly navigate all sorts of 3D programs because they're all so similar. So it's not a question of understanding the program, I can do that. It's a mental thing. It's that slow, creeping feeling that you can't do it, and that everything that you think you've done so far is just a tromp d'oeil. It's like standing in the middle of the street with an oncoming car. You know you should move, and your muscles kind of obey, but it's just not fast enough, you're not nimble enough. The instructors keep talking about the production pipeline and how you need to be on top of things... and I'm like, I can't do that! I don't know how everyone else manages, but they seem capable of it when they enter a job. But I wouldn't even know where to begin! How does that first week at work happen? Are you just thrown in and left to fend for yourself?
My greatest fear, I guess, is that I'll get out there and someone will hire me, and then I'll completely disappoint and lose it. Which doesn't make too much sense... I know people less capable than me have gotten work and kept it. I don't know where I'm going and I guess that terrifies me. I've always had A Plan for the next year and something, but now I just can't see past the next six months. And I can't very well tell my parents about this, since they'd just tell me about how important it is that I find work and they'd go on a tangent about how I need to pay back loans. NO, REALLY? DO I? THAT'S NOT ALWAYS ON MY MIND AND DOESN'T KEEP ME AWAKE EVERY NIGHT.
I did do a 1 hr sculpt of this the other night. I guess it could be worse.
Anyway. I should get to work. Busy month.
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